A Few Thoughts on Love, History, and Getting Through Valentine's Day
Making the Day Personal
Valentine’s Day can feel formulaic when it’s approached as a checklist—flowers, dinner reservations, the right tone of romance. But it becomes more tolerable, even meaningful, when you take it out of the expected gestures and make it personal.
That might mean reflecting on how your understanding of love has changed over time. What you once accepted, what you no longer will, and what you’re still learning to recognize. Love doesn’t have to be theatrical to be real. Sometimes it looks like discernment, boundaries, or choosing not to rush something that isn’t ready.
You don’t have to celebrate an ideal. You’re allowed to honor your real life.
A Final Thought
Valentine’s Day tends to reduce love to a day or a few hours instead of a process. But real love—when it arrives—rarely looks like a holiday. It’s quieter, more revealing, and often asks more of us than we expect.
Wherever you are this Valentine’s Day, you don’t need to prove anything. Love isn’t something you perform on a schedule. It unfolds in its own time, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is remain open without forcing the outcome.
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Valentine’s Day has a way of bringing things to the surface. Even if you tell yourself it’s just another day, it can quietly highlight where you are in your relationship to love—romantic or otherwise. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be uncomfortable. Before deciding how to feel about it, it helps to understand where this day came from and what we’re actually being asked to celebrate.
Valentine’s Day Origins
The origins of Valentine’s Day are less glamorous than they appear now. One of the most commonly cited stories involves St. Valentine, a priest in ancient Rome who is said to have performed marriages in secret when they were forbidden. Whether or not the story has any truth, the symbolism remains: love as something chosen quietly, sometimes imperfectly, sometimes against the rules.
Over centuries, Valentine’s Day became linked to courtship and romance, especially during the Middle Ages, when it was believed that birds began pairing off in mid-February. Eventually, private gestures turned into public rituals, and handwritten notes became mass-produced cards. What started as an expression of connection slowly became something more visible, more commercial, and easier to compare.
If You’re Single on Valentine’s Day
Being single on Valentine’s Day can feel isolating—not because you’re alone, but because the culture insists that you shouldn’t be. If the day stirs sadness, frustration, grief, or even annoyance, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck or broken. It means you’re paying attention.
A few ways to get through the day without forcing yourself into false positivity:
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Let the day be neutral. It doesn’t have to be special or symbolic. Sometimes, surviving is enough.
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Step back from comparison. Social media has a way of turning curated moments into silent judgments. You don’t need to participate.
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Acknowledge what’s real. If you want love and don’t have it right now, that’s not weakness—it’s honesty.
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Take care of yourself without pretending it replaces intimacy. A good meal, a walk, a trip to the spa, or an early night aren’t consolation prizes. They’re just acts of care.
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Remember that it's just one day. Being single doesn’t mean you missed something.
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